


Not this nor that, just us

by LilJiji



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A little harsh language, Alternate Universe - College/University, Boys In Love, Delinquent Lee Felix, Feelings Realization, I Don't Even Know, Idiots in Love, Lee Felix is Whipped (Stray Kids), M/M, Mentioned Han Jisung | Han, Not too much but still, One Shot, Pining, Smoking, i had to ok?, this was fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27939513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilJiji/pseuds/LilJiji
Summary: Felix hates college, hates math, hates his parents but loves his friends. Seungmin is somewhere on the list, without him knowing. Until Felix becomes too obvious of course.Or, Seungmin wants to understand the delinquent in his math class but ends up confused about himself.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix
Kudos: 50





	Not this nor that, just us

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about this for a year now and I'm happy I wrote it finally.

“Can I please get a break?” Seungmin sighs.

Seungmin really doesn’t want to find himself in class right now.

But he is here, and he happens to see the boy he is tutoring doing the stupidest shit he ever saw with his own two eyes.

.

Seungmin is a good student. Not a prodigy but a very good student. And he likes to study, math is his favorite subject because it makes him relax in some sort of way. It is pretty easy to just work on a lot of exercises in silence.

At least it is quiet in the library. Because anywhere else he tried to, someone – and by someone he means very specific people – was too loud.

It’s like that boy and his friends are everywhere in the campus he happens to be.

Seungmin doesn’t know who they are. Only their names, except for one.

While Jisung and Minho are just two loud _pretty_ boys who had nothing to do all day apparently, Felix is with them only when he gets out of his math class, the same Seungmin’s in.

And it doesn’t take much for him to realize what kind of reputation he has. Yes, people call him a delinquent, but mostly for the way he dresses and glares at the other students that woke him up during the lessons multiple times in the past. He may or may not have got in trouble for some serious stuff, like skipping class, disturbing it or smoking during it, but it was not that bad as others made it seem to be.

Wherever Seungmin is, Felix seems to be there as well. And he sometimes looks in his direction.

Not that Seungmin cares to remember every time it happens (to be specific at least twice a day!) but he cannot look away. Not when he gets in class, usually pretty late, and not when he finds him smoking alone in the parking lot.

The way the other looks at him as well, like he might be so interesting, makes Seungmin wonder what’s truly in his head.

What could be so interesting about a guy whose family basically wants to force him into education and into becoming a teacher? When all Seungmin wants is to finish these years of college and get into something different; he knows it sounds so pitiful and stupid to still listen to your parents and let them spend money on college but he knows he doesn’t really has much of a choice. Two more years and maybe he will get to make his parents happy and even get to cultivate his passions more.

Who knows why Felix meets his eyes every single time they share space but Seungmin is not indifferent. He wants to know why Felix has a terrible reputation, spends too much time with those two and why he looks so disgusted by everything around him. And that’s why when his math teacher tells him if he wants to try tutoring Felix he accepts after little thought.

He wanted to try tutoring for a while now and this was a good way to get to know better how to work with others and get closer to Felix, Seungmin didn’t really know why he wanted that but he did.

Meeting Felix, like really meeting him, was very strange. Cuz Felix kind of grinned at him, looked him straight in the eyes. And Seungmin was getting really odd vibes from it.

Getting on well with him wasn’t easy either. Felix didn’t really want to study, hated math with a passion and refused to write what Seungmin was telling him to the first couple times.

He stood up every time it was too much for him and went smoking, Seungmin after him, observing every move. Felix dressed kind of casual (casual like a drug dealer may look like), hoodies of all colors and lots of piercings, one eyebrow piercing, one septum he didn’t see many times on him and a lot of earrings.

The library wasn’t the best place to have a hyperactive boy study something he hated, and Seungmin felt like a parent that had no patience. And Felix acted like a spoiled kid, but something was slowly changing. Seungmin wanted to get to know him, he really did, and Felix gave him too much attention when he stopped explaining. Every single time he checked his phone, or came closer to explain something to Felix, the latter looked at him with big eyes. But they didn’t speak much at first. Felix wasn’t the quiet type, but spending time with him Seungmin thought he was so weird for not really talk too much. He pretended to listen to some of the equations Seungmin’s explained and complained a couple times when they started working on trigonometry.

And Seungmin was getting mixed signals from all that. While it looked like Felix wasn’t interested in being friends, he didn’t make him feel that uncomfortable.

One time especially, when Minho brought him – almost _forced_ him – to the library on a Saturday morning to meet him, Felix looked so pissed. Not only at Minho, but also at everything around him.

He might have smoked a lot, because the smell was stronger than usual and he had a bruise under his left eye.

“What did you do?” he could not resist asking.

Felix straight up growled at him and Minho hit him a little, not too hard, on the head, looking at him mad.

“He asked you a question brat, you made him worry.” He said, but it didn’t sound that cold as it could have been.

“I got into a fight, nothing serious.” Felix answered, not really looking him in the eyes.

“Last night at a club at 2am, when you got kinda drunk, and fought a couple people cuz they bumped into a girl and she fell and you felt the need to be a hero on a Friday night. Sung called me to come and get you both home and Jesus Christ I hate you both guts!” Minho spurred out frustrated and Seungmin gave him a quick look and he could see he had deep dark patches under his eyes.

“You’re lucky.” Minho said and left.

Seungmin was so confused. Minho seemed even more responsible at a second glance and Felix more stupid than he thought. But he didn’t feel the need to tell him that or even scold him.

Felix took a sit near him, and opened the book to look at it, not really reading. Seungmin debated with himself if ask him if he was ok and he decided to at least try.

“You want to go home for today?”

“Explain this shit first.” Felix pointed at an inequation.

Seungmin let the topic drop and started speaking, Felix listening and even asking a couple questions. It was so weird. But they were getting somewhere.

Felix requested some exercises to do, did them in complete silence and Seungmin might have looked at him a little too long. Up close Felix was beautiful. He tried to think of other words to describe his but he couldn’t. He noticed he had freckles all over his nose and under his eyes. Seungmin wondered if he had them elsewhere, like shoulders, arms or chest. Today his septum was there and it looked cute on him.

After he finished the paper, and double checked even, he gave it back to the other, again not saying a word.

Seungmin didn’t talk too much as well but after a couple minutes stopped checking Felix’s answers to see if he was listening or he just stood up and went out for his third smoke break.

.

After a couple months, Felix started conversations with him while they paused studying or at lunch – they usually worked before and after lunch so they had time to look after what the previous lesson was about and check their (Seungmin’s) notes – and asked for his personal stuff out of blue one day. He wasn’t pushy about it but very curious. Another day, Felix even smiled at him, which made him feel so upside down. He was so unpredictable and weird in his ways, like he wanted to get closer but not really.

Sometimes they acted like friends and other times Felix didn’t even say hi when he saw him around.

Truth was he didn’t as well. So it was ok, in a fucked up sort of way.

Although, Seungmin learned from him that they had something in common: their parents were both idiots who pushed their agenda on their sons. Felix’s father told him that if he wants to do something different, he should first think of a carrier to pursue, and he chose it for him. Felix didn’t like the idea of being an engineer but he needed to first get his parents to let him get into a dance class. Because yes, Felix liked to dance. And that’s why he spent a lot of time with Minho, cuz he was a dancer. He met him thanks to Jisung, his so called _twin_.

.

The next times they met to study, Felix was getting impatient and almost threw his book out the window a couple times. He had little time to prepare for the last exam and he hated every little second of it, for what Seungmin could see. So he let him smoke during the whole time and actually spoke more than studying.

They were getting close and the blond overshared sometimes and when he did, his voice usually got tiny, as tiny as someone with his deep voice could get at least.

One day especially, Felix looked too pissed to behave. It was the day Seungmin told him to come to his apartment. And when Hyunjin, his roommate, opened the door to see the blond boy, he chuckled.

Seungmin had enough of his teasing all night after that.

“I think he is cute, tho.” Hyunjin said after a while.

Seungmin scoffed and ignored him. Even if Felix was indeed cute, he still found him a difficult person to understand. Especially now that Felix told him he really wanted to pass the exam so that his father would leave him get a job and go to dance classes.

And Seungmin really wanted to help him, but at the same time it felt so strange to have him in his mind every time.

.

And all that happened the last four months of college got Seungmin to this.

He has to witness, with his own eyes Felix, doing whatever he was doing, in an empty class, on a bright day, standing next to a chair, his stupid red hoodie ruined, water on the floor, and looking in his direction with red ears.

“What in the bloody hell did you do?” Seungmin’s voice is breathy, fingers rubbing his eyebrows.

_I can’t do this._

“…was bored.” Felix says, a hand in his hair, now looking at whatever he just tried to do on that chair.

“What?” Seungmin bursts out, walking in his direction.

There is water everywhere, on the floor, on the chair and on Felix as well.

Now closer to the blond, he notices he has a little scratch on his cheek and one sleeve is darker than the other, no longer red, like it’s burnt.

He also notices the lighter on the ground and starts connecting the dots.

“I’m gonna ask again, what did you do?”

“I…” Felix looks down, playing with his fingers, almost scared of Seungmin’s harsh tone “…burnedsomepaperpiecesonthechair.” He says quickly.

“You _what_?!” Seungmin’s eyes open wide at that.

_You aren’t for real!_

“I burned some paper on the chair with some wite-out ok?”

“No _fuckin_ way!”

Felix’s about to tell him that he cursed, and he never curses but he doesn’t dare say anything else.

Was it stupid? Yes. Was he _that_ bored? Yes. Was it fun? At first. Worth it? Not really.

“How old are you, ten?” Seungmin’s voice raises.

“I was bored.” And Felix’s just a whisper. _And nervous._ But he does not say it.

“You lighted a chair on fire cuz you got bored?”

“It’s not the first time, ok?”

At that Seungmin chuckles loudly.

Then takes a deep breath and starts again.

“Felix, did you burn your sleeve?”

Felix shows it and nods.

“And the hems as well, I see. You ruined your hoodie you stupid boy.”

“It kinda started to grow and I wanted to stop it and burnt it, not a big deal.”

“And the scratch?”

“My friend’s cat.”

Seungmin touches it lightly, Felix hissing at the contact.

“Come with me.”

Seungmin takes his hand and Felix follows him out of the class and into a near bathroom.

Then Seungmin helps him take the burnt hoodie off and places a white shirt in his hands, telling him to change. The blond is taken aback by that, and blushes a little, not enough for the other to notice at least, and changes.

After that, Seungmin puts a plaster on his cheek and smiles a little.

Felix looks different without his usual hoodie, not in a bad way though. His hair looks softer than Seungmin thought it would be and he doesn’t resist the urge to run his hand through it. Felix leans in, closing his eyes.

They stay like that for a while, slowly breathing and Felix almost purrs when Seungmin’s hand touches the back of his neck.

“Why do you care for me?” Felix says after a while, voice airy.

“I don’t know, I guess I want to be friends.”

“Only that?” is voice sounds lower than ever.

“I don’t really know.”

“I like you, y’know?”

_Huh? What!?_

“You–”

“It’s ok I know you don’t like me back, but I like you.” He smiles a little, the second actual time Seungmin sees it. “I wanted to tell you anyway, because you helped me a lot.”

“How long–”

“A while now…” he cuts him off, scratching the back of his head and taking Seungmin’s hand that was still there and squeezes it a little.

“I have to go.” Seungmin finds a way out quickly, taking his bag and Felix lets him go.

.

Seungmin is really thinking about it everyday now. It’s been a week and he didn’t see Felix around the campus since last time.

They didn’t find out who did that mess in the class, and Seungmin shut his mouth as well. But he wanted to know where Felix was, what he was doing.

He even asked Minho about him after three days of not seeing him. And he didn’t have his number. The exam is near and he is not sure if Felix is prepared enough for it.

He also misses him. Seungmin doesn’t know why but he does.

They have spent enough time together to get on each other’s nerves but apparently also for Felix to fall for him. And he isn’t sure why his head hurts so bad. Does he like Felix back? Does he feel a thing for that blond delinquent who _almost burned his hoodie and himself_? He doesn’t quite know what is happening but his heart beats fast when is Felix involved.

And it’s been like that for a while now. He cannot deny that every time Felix looked in his direction or they had bumped into each other in the past, he didn’t feel a thing. But mostly, he was curious. And now it doesn’t seem the case. It’s more, but Seungmin doesn’t know what a serious crush is, he had a few in the past but didn’t feel this way. Now, he’s completely confused about everything.

.

The day of the exam came too quickly for his own liking and it’s been a couple days since he’s been to class. The reason being he wanted to study better for it – the truth being he wasn’t feeling himself without Felix around.

When he gets in, ready to just finish the exam and go home, Seungmin notices a lot of people looking at someone in the far left of the room.

_No way…_

Felix is there, a couple places far from his, near the window. His green hoodie and his hair longer and grey pants and that earring with a locker he always had.

Seungmin takes a sit, not really sure if to speak to him or even say hi, but it’s too late for that anyways because the exam starts.

And Felix’s writing, sometimes looking straight in front of him and then back at his paper. And Seungmin’s almost done with his paper as well and when he stands up, Felix does as well.

He is not looking at him but Seungmin’s heart is beating in his throat, his ears are probably red by now but he doesn’t care. He gets out immediately after the exam, almost running away from him and when he feels like he’s alone he starts laughing at himself.

_Pathetic. What the fuck is wrong with me?_

He can’t stand himself for this.

He didn’t see Felix for a good week and now he makes his heart beat so fast it’s about to jump out his chest.

Does he like him? He still doesn’t know. But does he miss him? 100% yes.

He leans on the wall, trying to steady his breaths.

Maybe he needs to reevaluate his position. For a second he thinks that yes, he might like Felix but where does he go from that? If he likes him, why is he so afraid of something he doesn’t even know about? It’s not Felix the problem, the boy acts like a child sometimes but Seungmin’s fond of that – well, except for that day one week ago, but he didn’t stay mad for long – so maybe Felix got under his skin a little too much than he wants to admit, but why?

Still in his thoughts, he didn’t realize someone’s now next to him.

“The exercises you used to give me were worse than that.”

Seungmin lets out a startled yelp, jumping on place.

Felix leans on the same wall, brushing his shoulder with his and looking at his feet.

“But I think I passed it.” He pushes his shoulder a little with his, to get his attention.

Seungmin doesn’t know what to say. Or ask. Or scream.

Felix turns to face him “Thanks for that, truly.”

Seungmin gulps loudly and nods, still looking down.

“I’ve been looking for you the past days, but you’ve been avoiding me.”

“You didn’t come to class for a week.” It’s Seungmin’s turn to look down.

“I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t.”

Felix then gets near him and traps him on the wall, both hands on it to not let him go.

Not this time. Not after looking for him. Not after Seungmin went to Minho to ask about him, the older telling him he looked sad about it that day. And not when he could hear Seungmin’s voice be so soft and tiny. He’s not really known for self-control, but he’s learning to not try his luck with this one. Because Seungmin can still get out his grip, but at the same Felix has a feeling he wants to stay.

“Look at me, Seungmin.”

Maybe it’s the tone in his voice, or that strange sweet smell – so different from the tobacco one he usually had – or maybe it’s the way his name sounds on Felix’s lips, Seungmin isn’t sure, but he darts his eyes to meet Felix’s almost on command.

“Then why did you avoid me?” he looks so fragile that Seungmin is about to melt.

Felix is insecure. And he knew it because the last months he spent with him taught him that.

Felix does things on spot because he’s insecure about what others may think if he backs up. And Seungmin’s soft for him in any possible way, because he got to know him.

“I…” he starts, breath hitching in the throat, suddenly too hot “…am a little scared.”

“Of me?”

“ _Fuck_ no!”

Felix smiles a little at that, a little too happy for the answer.

“Then why?”

Seungmin takes a deep breath again, a hand on his heart, like it could help slow it down a little and looks up.

“I’ve never liked someone before…” he whispers.

Felix grins at that. Nothing scary or malicious, just as simple as it may be. And it looks so pretty on him,

Happiness. His smile. His eye-smile. It looks pretty on Felix. Everything about him is pretty. And Seungmin feels the need to kiss that smile. And Felix acts like he reads his mind and dives in, still not connecting their lips but touching his forehead with his.

“It’s pretty simple to like someone, you’re doing good.”

“I have a good teacher.” Seungmin feels like his chest is about to explode and leans in for a quick peck of the lips, Felix not letting him go after that and kissing him back hard, pressing him on the wall.

Seungmin whines a little at that, parting his lips and letting Felix lick in his mouth and back at his lips. It feels so hot so quickly and his hair is becoming a mess, Felix’s hands in it now and pulling slightly.

And it feels good. Too good. Like his body was waiting for it to snap. To just let Felix do whatever. To kiss him, hold him and press him against that very wall and stop him from breathing.

When Felix stops torturing his mouth, drawing apart with a string of saliva still connecting their lips – Seungmin should find it erotic, and he kind of is turned on by that, but it makes him laugh more – the other lets out a breathy sound, like the weight on his shoulders now is gone.

“I wanted to give back your shirt, but…” Felix says and shows what’s under the hoodie “…I kind of like it a little too much.” His cocky grin back on his lips, Seungmin wants to kiss it away.

“You can have it,” he gives him a peck on the nose, Felix blushing now “it looks good on you.” he says and giggles.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated.  
> Here's my [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/Ji_flower)


End file.
